Parenting in the Age of Information: A Reading List to Raising Conscious Children

Parenthood is an invitation to do things differently if you wish. Personally, what surprised me about becoming a parent was the startling absence of preparation for it. Perhaps “parenthood” isn’t quite the right term — it’s more the unpreparedness for nurturing emotionally resilient and physically healthy children. It’s intriguing to note the limited education provided on genetics and neuroscience, especially considering our current understanding far exceeds what was known in the generations of our parents or grandparents. Yet, despite this advanced knowledge, many of us find ourselves echoing the practices of the past. This isn’t entirely unexpected — without a deliberate approach to our lives, we often default to following others’ guidance, sometimes without questioning its validity.

Did it ever cross your mind that if your mother often sang to you, you’d be more inclined to serenade your children? Or, reflecting on breastfeeding norms: In Denmark, for a period, the length of maternity leave — four months — miraculously matched the advised duration for breastfeeding. This is a far cry from the World Health Organization’s current stance advocating for two years. And what about physical discipline? Many of us might smugly assume that the days of spanking are long gone. Yet, joining international parenting forums was a real eye-opener for me — it’s not only still prevalent but also legally sanctioned in various parts of the Western world (a stark contrast to Denmark’s legal stance against it).

The controversies don’t stop there. From rigid schedules of feeding newborns every three hours to advocating for feeding on demand, from the persistence of sleep training to the acceptance of co-sleeping, and from the once-held belief that learning a second language could hinder a child’s linguistic skills to the current embrace of multilingualism as a Western norm. The landscape of parenting is riddled with evolving paradigms and conflicting practices. It’s a testament to the wealth of new insights swirling around us, challenging us to question and reconsider. How much of what we accept as ‘the norm’ is truly in our children’s best interest? Perhaps some of the people mentioned below can help you in figuring out the “norm” for your family and child.

So, for those interested in delving deeper into these topics, I’ve compiled this overview. Becoming a parent isn’t just checking off a milestone; it’s a chance to embrace change and pursue new paths, should you choose to.

I invite you to share this list with your partners — because after all this is something that requires the involvement of both of you (in an ideal scenario). This list is in no way extensive — but — it is what I hoped someone would have given me when I became a parent. Hopefully, it can give you some new insights! There is no need to read every book on the list — but — I’ve added a mix of very different themes and topics — so hopefully you can find something that awakens your attention. Please note that some of these books are old and it may make sense to visit your local secondhand bookshop.

BTW. These days audiobooks are popular. Please, before listening to any of these in audio format, figure out how you learn and absorb knowledge best — some benefit more from visual stimuli, others from auditory input, and still others from kinesthetic experiences. We all learn differently. The better you know and understand yourself, the more you will learn, and (hopefully), develop yourself further.

Happy exploring!

Child Development and Conscious Parenting

1. Alison Gopnik — “The Gardener and The Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children”
2. Alison Gopnik — “The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us about Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life”
3. Alison Stallibrass — “The Self-respecting Child: Development Through Spontaneous Play”
4. Gordon Neufeld — “Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One)”
5. Cecilia Decker — “Child Development: Early Stages Through Age 12”
6. Daniel J. Siegel — “The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind”
7. Julie Lythcott-Haims — “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success”
8. Esther Wojcicki — “How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results”
9. Emily Oster — Various works on data-driven parenting decisions
10. Naomi Aldort — “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves”
11. Jesper Juul — “The Competent Child”
12. Maria Montessori — Works on educational philosophy
13. Magda Gerber — Works on respectful parenting
14. Bernard Lievegoed — “Phases of Childhood: Developing in Body, Soul, and Spirit”
15. Shefali Tsabary — “The Awakened Family: How To Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children”
16. Dr. Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté — “Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers”
17. Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. — “No Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind”
18. Jean Liedloff — “The Continuum Concept: In Search Of Happiness Lost”
19. Lev Vygotsky — Play And its Role in The Mental Development of The Child
20. Hunter Clarke-Fields MSAE — “Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids”
21. Becky Kennedy — “Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be”
22. Michaeleen Doucleff — “Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans”
23. Janet Lansbury — “Elevating Child Care: A Guide To Respectful Parenting”

Nature & Outdoor Learning

1. Joseph Cornell — “Sharing Nature with Children”
2. Mendizza/Pearce — “Magical Parent, Magical Child: The Art of Joyful Parenting”
3. Scott Sampson — “How to Raise a Wild Child: The Art and Science of Falling in Love with Nature”

Creativity and Innovation

1. Adam Grant — “Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World”
2. Julia Cameron -The Artist’s Way for Parents: Raising Creative Children

Education and Learning

1. John Halt — “How Children Learn”
2. Howard Gardner — “Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences”
3. Howard Gardner — “The Unschooled Mind: How Children Think and How Schools Should Teach”
4. Diane Tavenner — “Prepared: What Kids Need for a Fulfilled Life”
5. Ron Ritchhart — “Creating Cultures of Thinking: The 8 Forces We Must Master to Truly Transform Our Schools”
6. Jo Boaler — “Mathematical Mindsets: Unleashing Students’ Potential through Creative Math, Inspiring Messages and Innovative Teaching”
7. Carol S. Dweck — “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”
8. Daniel T. Willingham — “Why Don’t Students Like School? A Cognitive Scientist Answers Questions About How the Mind Works and What It Means for the Classroom”
9. Fernando Savater — “The Courage to Discipline” (I have not been able to find this book in English, but read it in Danish myself. Perhaps you are luckier than I).
10. Daniel Kahneman — “Thinking, Fast and Slow”
11. Alison Gopnik — “Causal Learning — Psychology, Philosophy, and Computation”
12. John Hattie — “Visible Learning: The Sequel — A Synthesis of Over 2,100 Meta-Analyses Relating to Achievement”
13. Joanne Quinn — Dive Into Deep Learning — Tools for Engagement
14. Alex Linley — “The Strengths Profile Book: Finding What You Can Do + Love To Do And Why It Matters”
15. Jay McTighe & Grant Wiggins — “Essential Questions: Opening Doors to Student Understanding”
16. Paul Tough — “How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character”
17. Tracey Tokuhama-Espinosa — “Mind, Brain, and Education Science: A Comprehensive Guide to the New Brain-Based Teaching”

Emotional and Social Intelligence

1. Daniel Goleman — “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”
2. Daniel Goleman — “Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships”
3. David Caruso — “The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership”
4. Daniel Shapiro — “Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts”
5. Kevin Murphy — “A Critique of Emotional Intelligence: What Are the Problems and How Can They Be Fixed?”
6. David Brooks — “How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen”
7. Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish — “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk”
8. Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler — “Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition”
9. Claire Dale, Patricia Peyton — “Physical Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Untapped Intelligence to Achieve More, Stress Less and Live More Happily”
10. Jim Knight — “Better Conversations: Coaching Ourselves and Each Other to Be More Credible, Caring, and Connected”

Cognitive Science and Neuroscience: Understanding The World Around Us

1. Steven Pinker — “The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature”
2. David Eagleman — “The Brain: The Story of You”
3. Stanislas Dehaene — “The Number Sense: How the Mind Creates Mathematics”
4. David Deutsch — “The Beginning of Infinity”
5. Beverly Falk — “Defending Childhood: Keeping the Promise of Early Education”
6. Tatiana Chernigovskaya — “Language, Music and Gesture: Informational Crossroads: LMGIC 2021”
7. Ian Stuart — “Truth and Beauty: World History of Symmetry”
8. Yelena McManam — “Moebius Noodles”
9. Stanislas Dehaene — “The Number Sense: How the Mind Creates Mathematics”
10. Charles Petzold — “Code: The Hidden Language of Computer Hardware and Software”
11. Brian Christian — “Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions”
12. Carl Sagan — “Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space”
13. Richard Dawkins — “The Selfish Gene”
14. Robert Sapolsky — “Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst”
15. Lawrence Krauss — “A Universe from Nothing: Why There Is Something Rather than Nothing”
16. Steven Pinker — “The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language”
17. Daniel Kahneman — “Thinking, Fast and Slow”
18. Yuval Noah Harari — “Sapiens: A Brief History
19. Alfie Kohn — “The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing”
20. Lev Vygotsky — Mind in Society: Development of Higher Psychological Processes
21. Michael Shermer — “The Science of Good and Evil: Why People Cheat, Gossip, Care, Share, and Follow the Golden Rule” (Holt Paperback)

Raising Multilingual Children

1. Tracey Tokuhama-Espinosa — “Raising multilingual children: foreign language acquisition and children”
2. Barbara Zurer Pearson — “Raising a Bilingual Child”
3. Adam Beck — “Maximize Your Child’s Bilingual Ability: Ideas and inspiration for even greater success and joy raising bilingual kids”
4. Albert Costa — “The Bilingual Brain: And What It Tells Us about the Science of Language”

Parental Self-Care and Inner Growth

1. Beth Berry — “Motherwhelmed: Challenging Norms, Untangling Truths, and Restoring Our Worth to the World”
2. Lisa Marchiano — “Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself”
3. Toko-pa Turner — “Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home”
4. Glennon Doyle — “Untamed”
5. Bessel van der Kolk M.D. — “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma”
6. Bethany Webster — “Discovering the Inner Mother: A Guide to Healing the Mother Wound and Claiming Your Personal Power”
7. Kristin Neff — “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself”
8. Maye Musk — “A Woman Makes a Plan: Advice for a Lifetime of Adventure, Beauty, and Success”
9. Eve Rodsky — “Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)”