Why My Children Will Not Be Going to a Traditional School

When my first daughter was born I already knew which school she would be going to. I did what I believed was the best and most right thing to do back then — I signed her up to the main private schools that we have in Copenhagen that are considered good and “appropriate” (N. Zahles, Bernadotte, and a couple of others) within my own social circles. Everything seemed quite straightforward and simple then — however — since we took the road less travelled and uprooted our family and moved to Portugal, I have started to question our choice of school and how we should approach this entire topic when our children become older.

Through readings and my own personal experiences I have also started to question how schools are organised, and what kind of citizens are being formed when attending a traditional state or private school. Furthermore I guess as most parents out there.. I really want to just give my girls a beautiful childhood and start in life — that can act as a strong and healthy foundation for them to explore life on their own when the time is right.

I would love to avoid giving them the same trauma and negative experiences that I had to go through (I know I can’t shield them, but, as much as possible I would like to try) — and — having travelled the world and met some pretty awesome people out there, I know that there are folks out there that are doing things differently, and that have a completely different approach to life than how I was raised, and what is considered to be the societal norm — and they are thriving in their life, doing great stuff, having incredible children and families.

Having been working with tech myself and being immersed in certain startup environments, I am also very conscious about some of the changes that are happening within our societies due to the rise of tech and how it influences us — I would love to enable my girls to see technology as a supporting tool, not as an addiction.

By conventional/traditional I am here referring to a school structure that I grew up with myself. A school structure which included standardised, prescribed national curriculum, same-age classes, objective assessment modes, structured classes, and often (not always) crowded classes with little focus on individual needs. The schools focused mainly on having students master academic core subjects, including math, reading, writing, and science.

I grew up in Denmark and went to a public school that was trying out a new learning project (SKUB), and had the opportunity to go to the Russian Embassy School and a private French School. The Russian and French schools taught me that you can learn a lot of material in a very short period of time (and gave me a good introduction to standardized tests and lots of memorizing). The Russian school taught me mathematical thinking through algebra and geometry that I could use in my adult life, as I learned how to mentally think about challenges and deduct solutions. I also learned that history can be divided into different classes as I in the Russian school had Classical History (B.C.), National History, and world history (3 different classes!). Something that I never experienced in the Danish school system. The Danish school taught me to have my own opinion and project-based work. All the school systems showed me that it is possible to think about schools in different ways, and that teaching methods vary greatly throughout the world. Overall I really disliked the social aspects of my own schools — I loved learning, but I was bullied and only had a couple of friends — making the entire school experience horrible. None of the schools were able to support someone who had a different national background, multilingualism, nor were they able to provide support for areas that I struggled with or excelled in. Being able to speak English at an early age I remember how I was sent outside the classroom during every class to read a book of my own choice as they couldn’t provide me with more challenging material..that really didn’t help me on the social front either 😅.

None of them are school systems that I would like my daughters to go to — as I don’t think that the learning approaches that I was exposed to prepared me to be able to thrive and easily navigate in the world that we are living in today. And let’s be honest — spending the majority of your childhood in a place that does not give you awesome memories for life, nor prepares you for the world that you have to face outside of the school.. is truly a massive waste of life.

If you’re interested in learning more about why the way that schools are organized perhaps is not ideal — I would recommend you to read:

• Ivan Illich: “Deschooling Society” . This book just gives a lot of food for thought
• John Holt: “How Children Learn”
• Peter Gray: “Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life”:
• Gabor Maté & Dr Gordon Neufeld: “Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers”
• C. S. Lewis:“The Abolition of Man”

Here is what I would like my daughters to experience when they start going to school:

• Foundation for Life: I want the school to act as a bannister for them throughout their young years — providing them a foundation that supports them, that ignites them with learning and opens the world for them, and that helps them to become conscious & thriving citizens of the world, living lives worth living (I know the definition of this can be broad.. but its worth discussing!).
• Family & Community: Ok, so I don’t want the school in any way to replace their family — but — I want them to go to a school that is operating as a larger family — in the sense that everyone knows each other — that we gather to celebrate seasonal holidays and have beautiful traditions that will give them rich memories for life. I want us to celebrate birthdays, seasonal changes, and holy days — as a community and as an invitation to gather and share moments together.
• Learning: I want them to go to a school that will show them that learning is fun.
• Moral Compass: I want them to go to a school that operates with a clear moral compass / values — universal values that are deeply embodied in the way that they interact, teach and communicate with one another. I want them to go to a school with based definitions. A school which own its words and its operating philosophy.
• Global Curriculum: I want them to go to a school that is not dominated by nationalism — I don’t like the word “global citizen” as I think it has been used too much — however I do consider myself as a global citizen — I am fluent in multiple languages, I can interact with people regardless where they are from and have a deep respect for cultural heritage and tradition. I easily feel at home wherever I go in the world, and I would like them to feel the same ease as I do. I want them to be able to speak multiple languages from different language groups, I would like them to see others as new friends and opportunities to learn from, I would like them to know that the core qualities of a human being are not defined by her passport. I don’t believe in nationalism and I think that it often, if not always, makes us caged animals in a human zoo, forgetting that we all are one, and often have more in common than we think — we forget that we ultimately share the same world, same needs and same universal dreams.
• To be of Service: I want them to go to a school that gives them opportunities to be of service for the community around them. I want them to learn from a young age that one can make a difference, how it feels to make a difference for someone, and that changing the world on a global scale starts with small personal and community-led initiatives.
• Inspiring Teachers & Rolemodels: I want them to go to a school that attracts the most inspirational and inspiring teachers from all around the world. I want them to go to a school where the teachers are celebrated and admired, where there is a strong connection between students-parents-teachers. Where we invite guest teachers from other countries. Have conferences and exciting modules where the whole family is invited to come. Have exchange and apprenticeship programs for the older students with other schools with similar approaches, and a strong mentorship programme. I want them to go to a school that respects the classics and the great teachers of the past. I define a great teacher as someone that excels in an area and has the gift of passing knowledge to others.
• Aesthetics: I want them to go to a school that is beautiful. What you eat, see, and the people that you surround yourself with is what you will become and how your mind will be framed. I want them to go to a school that is surrounded by nature and by beautiful and sustainable structures — making them dream & create and giving them the safe & nurturing space necessary for just being them.
• Global Class: I want them to go to a school where they are surrounded by humans from different corners of the world and different economic backgrounds — yet mutual aspirations and values.
• I want them to go to a school that teaches them how to listen, how to communicate, how to make their mind able to think spectrum thinking, how to respect their bodies, how to respect our world, how to critically assess information, how to broaden their mind, how to find peace within themselves, how to create healthy boundaries, how to use tech as a supporting tool for building beautiful solutions that can bring great value and help to the many.
• Quality: I want them to go to a school operating by the standards of highest Quality. Where everything that is taught, created, built, done — is done by people that are deeply passionate about the work that they do, and that are doing it out of love for their craft. Measuring the essence of quality is impossible, but only that kind of people produce impeccable work.
• l want them to go to a school where they can play, have fun, use their hands, act, create, feel wonder, where they can make mistakes, where they can feel safe, where they can make lifelong friends & memories — I want them to wake up every morning and feel “YEEES! Another day! Let’s do this!”.
• I want them to go to a school that teaches them that learning is a lifelong endeavour, and that when they graduate, it is only the beginning of a new chapter in the book of life, that is filled with constant life-long learning & personal growth. I want them to go to a school that will inspire them to seek new knowledge and to broaden their own horizons.

Perhaps schools could be small connected learning hubs throughout the world — that share the same moral compass, that have unique features and qualities promoting the local presence, that have incredible libraries, are beautiful and sustainably built, that act as living museums and project-based learning centres, that have maker-spaces, that have exchange and mentorship programs, that have strong community ties. In an era of Artificial Intelligence and rapidly evolving tech.. Schools should provide personal learning, and just be places where humans can learn to be great humans and whatever that entails. A place where we learn to take ownership over our actions and lives. Where we learn to be active & conscious global citizens. Maybe a place where what it means to be human is truly cherished and embraced.

There is a lot of talk these days about building the leaders of tomorrow, about changemakers.. I’m not sure we need all these labels and words to do great in life.. I mean, what if we just all felt safe & beloved — were deeply grounded in our values and morality — took ownership of our lives — had a close supportive community around us — and knew that our presence mattered? Wouldn’t that be a progressive act of change by itself. By just being. Just food for thought.

Thoughts about what the school could help them to become:

• Prepare them for life
• Build internal stability
• Build resilience to change throughout life
• Give them the opportunity to be in contact with who they are, what their values ​​are — enable them to formulate & articulate their life position
• Inspire them to be curious, ask questions, be critical, and challenge their own understanding of things

Interesting school concepts that I have stumbled upon around the world:

• Acton Academy: Acton Academy centres their education around the hero’s journey. Each student’s education is individualised based on their personal goals and gifts. Acton promises a learner driven environment: students create and sign their own contracts outlining their goals and the consequences for missing those goals. Mentors (not teachers) work with students to affirm their individual learning plans. Students can also earn badges celebrating character and leadership skills.
• Evangelische Schule Berlin Zentrum (ESBZ): A model for paradigm change based on humanity and solidarity. The ESBC School in Berlin shows the impact of a new system based on the principles of humanity and solidarity and following a simple premise: radically trusting in the potential of students and putting them in charge.
• Green School Bali: A movement in education, with schools opening in New Zealand, South Africa, and Tulum. Their ‘living’ curriculum educates for sustainability through community-integrated, entrepreneurial learning, in a natural environment. They strive to champion a new model of education that nurtures the whole child, giving them agency in their own lives and learning, so that they can thrive with purpose in our ever-changing world.
• Think Global School: THINK Global focuses on the value of learning through travel. While visiting 4 countries each year, students complete academic work related to the area they’re visiting. They immerse themselves in the culture, cementing the information they learn by combining academics with real-world lessons. Cohorts travel to 4 countries per year for a duration of 8 weeks per trip, with 5-week breaks in between each trip to reconnect with family and friends.
• SORA: Sora is known for its project-based learning and mastery-based assessment (no arbitrary tests or long nights of homework!) Students at Sora are also partnered with personal advisors and learning experts, who help guide each student through their learning experiences.
• The Socratic Experience: Instead of dividing students up by age-based grades, The Socratic Experience (TSE) features three tiers: Novice, Middle School, and High School. Personal projects and writing assignments are all based on the student’s individual interests, not pre-prescribed curricula. For subjects like math, students work at their own pace and set personal goals with a coach’s help.
• Prisma: Prisma is a virtual school that checks all the boxes for parents wanting their kids to have a self-guided education with some structure. Each “cycle” or 6-week education period surrounds a fun theme. No tests are administered, but students can receive badges based on their hard work and participation. Instead of grades, students graduate with a portfolio of projects showcasing what they’ve learned.
• Prenda: Prenda is a network of tuition-free microschools that focus on providing a learning environment where each child can have a self-paced education surrounded by friends of many ages. Each microschool has a dedicated teacher and takes an individually-tailored approach to each child’s learning.
• Kubrio XP: Kubrio employs a hybrid model of online classes and in-person learning centers called dojos (located all over the world). Classes are offered across a wide array of topics — everything from world geography to productivity to the economics of gaming — and classes are held at staggered times, so kids from around the globe can join.
• Higher Ground Education: Higher Ground is focused on creating a worldwide network of Montessori schools. Montessori seeks to help kids develop their individual interests and skills in a natural environment. Montessori classrooms are multi-age environments free from tests and traditional boxes of achievement. One of the key components of Montessori education is uninterrupted work periods, where kids are free to learn at their own pace without getting cut off by adults or school bells.
• Alpha: Alpha Schools prioritize personalized learning. Instead of grades, students are grouped together by “levels” in 2-year age bands, allowing students to work together and help each other reach their individual goals. Alpha Schools use adaptive apps and other tools that allow their students to learn twice as fast as normal public educated students — so they can spend the mornings knocking out common core, and the afternoons working on self-directed projects. At earlier levels, Alpha students spend their afternoons attending workshops of their choice (such as budgeting or negotiation), and in high school students spend their afternoons building a self-directed project called a Masterpiece.
• The Green Schools Alliance: The Green Schools Alliance is a peer-to-peer nonprofit with a mission to connect and empower schools to lead the transformation to a sustainable, equitable and climate resilient future.
• Waldorf & Steiner Schools: Waldorf education is a worldwide independent school movement developed in Europe nearly 100 years ago by Austrian philosopher, social reformer, and visionary, Rudolf Steiner. Today, Waldorf education is represented across the globe, with about 1000 schools and nearly 2000 early childhood programs in over 60 countries. In Waldorf education, the learning process is essentially threefold, engaging head, heart, and hands — or thinking, feeling, and doing. This is the basis out of which Waldorf teachers work to nurture and engage each child through a curriculum and methodology that integrates academics, arts, and practical skills.

Besides these I have found some interesting models in Russia, Sweden and Dagestan. Unfortunately these are not available in English, so I have not included them. Did you find an interesting school project worth checking out?